Conversations on Confidence & Raising Daughters

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One of the most common questions I’m asked as a mama of multiple girls is “are you going to try for a boy"? Well meaning strangers see AJ with his daughters and jokingly suggest that he’s “going to have his hands full” when they’re teenagers, or that it’s a shame he’s so outnumbered.

Although we’ve never been discontent with our girl gang, the idea of instilling self-confidence and individuality at a young age in my girls weighs heavy on my mind. Raising boys, which of course I have no experience with but know through chatting with friends, research, and watching my own brothers grow up into men, is naturally a different experience and being a mom of only girls is a mental adjustment I’m still working on.

I’m keenly aware of just how closely my five and three year old watch me. Everyday when I get dressed, put on makeup, size up my ever changing body in the mirror, or make snide comments about my body that I don’t think they’ll understand, I’m aware (usually after the fact) of their little brown and blue eyes watching me and their growing minds processing how I see myself. Will they resent me when they’re older for getting eyelash extensions? Am I letting them try out my lipstick too early? Is their wardrobe too “girly”? Am I modeling a balanced perspective of femininity? Did they see me scrolling Instagram admiring the wardrobe/lifestyle/body type/life phase of someone else? How do I, a young mom still very much figuring this whole self-confidence thing out for myself, instill these vital traits in my daughters?

This post is less of a “how to” guide (because in the realm of parenting, those don’t really exist) and more of a conversation around the subject of self-confidence and a few ways I’m working on modeling it in my day to day life in front of the girls. Of course, the same concepts can apply to raising boys too, and whether you’re raising boys or girls, I’d love to hear your tips and suggestions on the subject!

Let them do “big” things

All kids love “helping” their parents do adult-y things and, despite the fact that their efforts to help or join in usually aren’t all that helpful, I think it’s vital for kids to try their hand at the things mom and dad are doing AND feel reinforced in their efforts. For us, it’s usually letting the girls “get ready” with me in the morning, even if they smear lipstick all over their faces or pick out mismatching outfits. It’s letting them stir the cookie batter, even though you know it will be messier and take longer. It’s letting them help clean up and giving them the time to scoop snow with daddy, even if the snow all ends up back in the pathway. These simple (slightly inconvenient) gestures instill confidence in my girls through simply giving them a safe space to experiment, help, and learn new things.

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Don’t classify their appearance

I’ve made this mistake SO MANY TIMES and I’m sure I’ll make it a lot more, but I think especially with girls, it’s so important to let them take the lead when it comes to what they love to wear, how they like their hair done, and even what kind of toys they play with. A few months ago, I was helping Evie get ready for preschool and she walked in with an entirely pink outfit on; from head to toe, bright pink. I mentioned something about that outfit being really “girly” and asked if maybe she wanted to change her pants or something, and for a few weeks afterward she was obsessed with making sure her outfits were “girly enough” and didn’t become “too girly”.

Regardless of my personal taste (which tends to be super neutral, especially for kids), I’m working on letting them pick clothes/toys/hair styles just because they love them, and not necessarily because it fits a certain aesthetic or stereotype.

My girls love beautiful things, as most girls do, and little surprises like their You & Me Tassel Necklaces from Sela Designs are the perfect little accents to start conversations around inner beauty and highlighting it with beautifully made things that they truly love.

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Model self-care

For the first few years of my motherhood journey I rarely made myself a priority. Of course, it’s not easy when you’re raising babies or toddlers or multiples, but as my girls have gotten older and as I’ve done the same, I’ve learned that in order for me to raise them well and lead by example I’ve got to give myself time to recharge.

Self-care may be trendy at the moment, but in practice, it isn’t always easy or glamorous. Sometimes it means forcing a naptime because I can’t function without sleeping. Sometimes it means letting my husband take over bedtime so I can squeeze a shower in after he gets home from work. However it looks each day, I’ve been working on modeling language around caring for myself (especially easy for them to understand while I’m pregnant) and separating it from them. For example, I’m trying not to say things like “mommy needs alone time because you’ve been wearing me out today”. ;)

As they grow up though, I hope they’ll be able to look back and see that self-care is an act of courage sometimes, and that I modeled it well most of the time.

Take the focus off of their appearance early on

Girls grow up with conversations centered on their appearance from such a young age. And, of course, there’s nothing wrong with telling a girl she’s beautiful (that’s important too!), I’m working on mentally rewriting my own script for when it comes to talking to my girls and complimenting them.

I’ll try to focus equally on their character, their choices, or their talents, instead of their appearance only. Pieces like my Round + Square silk scarves or t-shirts (which my girls have been known to steal from time to time) have empowering phrases on them that help spark conversation. Instead of saying how “pretty” their hair looks, I can talk about what being “brave and kind” means or what “#equality” looks like early on, or why “Girl Power” isn’t just a catch phrase.

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I’m still very much a work in progress as a mother, especially as I think about my girls getting older and requiring more and more intentional modeling and behavior.

My job is on the internet, requires me to take photos of myself all the time, get new things, and seems very externally focused on the surface, so I have ample room for improvement and conversation around self-confidence and inner beauty.

How are you having these hard conversations with your kiddos? I’d love to hear your experiences.


*This post is part of a long term collaboration with Sela Designs and ROUND + SQUARE. All content ideas, creative direction, photos, and children are my own ;) Please do not use my photos without permission.*

Tiny Living || Reducing Waste in Our Kitchen

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Since the beginning of my #InspiringZeroWaste challenge in January, I’ve hesitated to tackle one of the biggest areas that my household (and most households, I think) creates waste.

The kitchen.

Smaller space, as I’ve learned, doesn’t mean less waste and sometimes, it can mean producing even more waste for the sake of convenience.

This post won’t portray me as a perfect zero-waster, because the reality is that, especially in the kitchen, I’m far from it. But I’m working on implementing small steps (that I can actually stick with) thanks to this monthly challenge.

Today, I’m excited to share a bit of what I’ve already done to decrease waste in my kitchen — in this post, I’m welcoming the help of Do Good Shop (although you don’t need to buy anything to lessen your waste!). I’ll also share a few goals that I have for the coming month(s) and hopefully spark a bit of inspiration on your end as well.

If you’re looking for a one-stop-shop for ethical home goods, Do Good Shop is a great resource. They’re a non-profit marketplace stocking items that support artisans, end trafficking, and encourage traditional craftsmanship. You’ll be hearing lots more about them in the coming months.

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In my “waste audit” of my tiny kitchen, I learned that packaging and food waste are the two biggest areas my family and I create waste. Although I’m not sure we will ever fully eliminate packaging from our home (packing school lunches without single-wrapped foods is HARD) and I may never find the perfect balance of buying and cooking the perfect amount of food, I’ve found a few ways to consciously reduce waste in these areas that have helped tremendously.

We still produce far too much trash than I’m comfortable with, even for a small family, and I would ideally like to recycle even less than we do (consuming less in general) but reducing waste as a family isn’t easy and I’m choosing to celebrate each small step instead of beat myself up for the long ways I have left to go.

Here are a few ways I’ve gotten started that you can try too:

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  1. DIY as much as you can

    DIY-ing, as much as my aesthetics-loving self hates to admit it, doesn’t have to be pretty. First and foremost, it should solve a problem or expense in your life, ultimately saving you time and money. I’ve fallen in love with DIY-ing my own cleaning supplies which saves my home from unnecessary plastic packaging and the unnecessary toxins found in most cleaning supplies. I also DIY things like tupperware, meaning I’ll reuse packaging certain foods come in to save other food before eventually recycling it. Things like cheese cartons, or even the twist ties found in the produce section can be used in other ways.

  2. Swap cloth for disposables

    It can be a beautifully-made swap, like my cloth napkins from Do Good Shop made by artisans in India using time-honored block printing, or it can be as simple as a cut up old t-shirt to use as cleaning rags. I have (and use) both daily. While my tee-cloths are essential for cleaning the daily messes, I wouldn’t use them to serve as dinner napkins or even something to clean up crumbs or coffee grounds. With these two “products” I’ve eliminated paper towels and other disposable cleaning wipes from my home.

  3. Shop seasonally and avoid plastic where you can

    I won’t even pretend that shopping zero-waste for groceries for a family of almost five is easy, because it isn’t. We have limited access to farmers’ markets and bulk food stores, so I’m usually left with shopping from the organic produce section and crossing my fingers that I remembered my reusable shopping bags. BUT it’s do-able to make a dent in your packaging and plastic intake and it’s worth trying, even if you can’t do it perfectly.

  4. Use your food scraps

    It’s hard to plan how long your food will last and, similarly, how much of it your three and five year old will eat once you make it, but there are ways to reduce your food waste by cooking with unused food scraps and strategically cooking/shopping to reduce extras. I learned about some great ways to use food waste from Going Zero Waste and her newly released book, but you can also do a quick Google search to find lots of inspiration. There are also lots of foods you can regrow from the stems and bottoms, so I’ve been experimenting a lot with that lately too.

  5. Meal Plan

    I’m the worst at meal planning. The absolute worst. In my almost six years of marriage and 5 years of motherhood, I haven’t consistently stuck with it until this year, when I realized how much of a money and sanity saver it really is. Meal planning, it turns out, can significantly reduce your waste in the kitchen too.

Not a super glamorous list, I know, or even what you may have expected (a list full of products you need to buy and eco-switches you need to make). Although products can be helpful for convenience and keeping you motivated, I’ve learned that reducing waste is really a mindset (and ultimately a lifestyle) shift, especially in the kitchen.

I love keeping a few "pretty things” around to keep things cheery and bright, like my Olivewood Serving Tray from Do Good Shop that serves as an in-bed tray, a plant display, a snack server and so much more, and a few pretty napkins and hand towels. But other than that, the kitchen is a place to make messes and get creative, and reducing your waste in the kitchen may not be as pretty as you’d expect either.

My #InspiringZeroWaste goal for this month is to research small space composting! I’d LOVE any resources you know of or tips that have worked well for you. I’m not opposed to an outdoor composting bin (in fact, I’d prefer it) but it needs to be bear and wildlife proof! (#mountainliving).

How hard has reducing waste in the kitchen been in your life? I’d love to hear your tips!


*This post is part of a long term collaboration with Do Good Shop. But all opinions, creative direction, and photographs are my own. Shop the links in this post to support brands that create a better world for artisans all over the world!*

Kitchens are one of the most wasteful areas of most rooms, but you might be surprised at how simple it is to start reducing your trash, even with kids in the house.

Simple, Affordable, Organic Skincare with Bohemian Rêves

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When it comes to skincare, I’m a minimalist at heart. I’ve shared bits and pieces of my skincare lineup before (if you can call it a “lineup”…I really only use one or two products consistently), but each time I have the opportunity to work with a skincare brand I feel extra spoiled. There’s something about taking extra great care of my skin, bathing it in ingredients I can pronounce and trust, and supporting organic, sustainable brands that feels like such a win/win/win.

Pregnancy is a mixed bag when it comes to skin health — for some, they’re glowing like the proverbial goddess for 9 months straight with no concern about switching up their normal routine, for others, they’re battling more breakouts, dryness, and unevenness than they did when they were 14. I’ve been in both camps and have learned to listen to what my body needs (typically, more moisture) at each phase of pregnancy/postpartum/breastfeeding/menstruation, as well as to not stress about whichever “phase” my body is in at the time.

Bohemian Rêves is my newest skincare obsession and once you learn a little more about their ingredients, packaging, and mission, I think you’ll fall in love too.

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Last Spring I shared a post listing my “skincare criteria” when it comes to which products I try and which brands I support. If you missed it, here’s a quick recap of the questions I ask before committing:

1. What is my skin type and what issue am I trying to address? 

2. Can this product be used in more than one way? 

3. How transparent is the brand about their ingredients/sourcing?

4. Is this product worth the investment? 

I’d also add a note to consider the brand’s packaging, since this is my year of #InspiringZeroWaste…

When I consider Bohemian Rêves’ products in relation to these questions, I’m even more convinced they’ve earned their place in my natural (albeit minimal) beauty routine.

The brand crafts all of their products using organic, plant based ingredients. They use glass jars for packaging (which I love to reuse when I’m done), AND they’re much more affordable than other brands I’ve tried in the past. Featuring a beautiful line of body butters, botanical perfumes, face masks, rollers, and more, I’m already hooked on the sweet products they sent over for me to test out.

The Mask

Doing a weekly face mask has become a mini-ritual for me lately, especially at this phase in my pregnancy when rest is hard to come by. Bohemian Rêves’ Rose Clay + Ginseng mask is as luxurious as it sounds and their custom bamboo mask brush makes putting it on simple and mess free. I typically put mine on a few minutes before showering and then let it soak into my skin before washing it off mid-shower.

The Botanical Blends

One of the products I was most excited to try was Bohemian Rêves’ Botanical Blends. I love softer scents and knew that these blends would be just enough of a mood boosting perfume to lighten my mood and keep me feeling just a little bit fancy (I mean, how gorgeous are the bottles?!). I tried the Sol Dorado scent and it’s a fun, citrus-y, earth-y concoction that leaves me feeling awake and smelling fresh.

The Body Butter

Although I primarily requested this body butter for my baby belly — stretch mark prevention and all that jazz — I’ve been using it everywhere and on everyone. Mara is prone to super dry, eczema-like patches, especially in our ultra-dry Colorado winters, and this body butter has helped to keep her skin moisturized and non-itchy.

The Matcha + Green Tea body butter isn’t greasy, like many other body butters out there, and has a light scent that makes it perfect for everyday use.

The Deodorant

Although it’s not pictured, I also tried Bohemian Rêves’ Patchouli and Blood Orange natural deodorant. As someone who is extremely picky when it comes to natural deodorants (and have tried quite a few in my day), this one has come out on top as one my favorites I’ve tried. I’m waiting till I’ve used it for a bit longer to make up my mind officially, but for the first week or so, I’m wonderfully surprised. Instead of many alternative deodorants that use baking soda, this one uses arrowroot powder and magnesium to absorb odor, making it much gentler on the skin.

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If you’re on the hunt for clean skincare alternatives, Bohemian Rêves is the perfect one-stop shop for everything from candles to soap to lotions to cleansing oils. Their ingredients are thoughtful and non-toxic, their packaging is zero waste and reusable, they’re budget friendly, and have products for all skintypes, what more could you ask for?


*This post was sponsored by Bohemian Rêves. All photos, opinions, and creative direction are my own. Thank you for supporting the brands that make SL&Co. possible!*

#InspiringZeroWaste || March Goal

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And just like that, we’re at the three month of this little zero waste challenge. How is it going for you all, friends? Now might be the point when you’re starting to feel your motivation waning — a year is a long time to commit to anything, especially something as big as waste reduction. I’d encourage you to use this month as a check-in. Ask yourself how achievable your monthly goals have been and, if necessary, readjust. Living a lower waste lifestyle doesn’t have to feel impossible, rigid, or boring. I hope breaking your biggest zero-waste goals into month-by-month chunks makes it feel as approachable and do-able as it actually is. If you’ve made it this far in the challenge OR you’re just joining in, comment below with how it’s going!

You can read each month’s goal and recap by going to the #InspiringZeroWaste tag on my blog, but as a quick reminder, here’s what I’ve tackled thus far in the challenge. For January, I zero-waste-ified my shower routine (I swapped my last shampoo bottle for a shampoo bar from Natural Vegan, bought a safety razor from Leaf, and have been switching out my conditioner and body wash to bars as they run out). In February, I researched textile recycling and wrote a giant post of resources for sending old clothing.

February Update:

Textile recycling seemed like a giant of a topic, and really, I only scratched the surface of the issues of clothing waste and the difficulties associated with recycling textiles in general.

What I Learned:

  • Primarily, I learned that textile recycling should be the norm. Although in an ideal world, all of our clothing would be organically grown and free from synthetic additions so that it would biodegrade naturally on its own, but of course, that’s not reality (yet, anyway). An easy solution is to send off your unwanted, well-worn clothes to textile recycling facilities or upcycle them at home.

  • More than anything, conscious consumption is key. When it comes to clothes, don’t buy more than you need, shop for ethically made pieces that are built to last, and recycle them when you no longer need them.

  • To read more of my findings, as well as a big list of places to send just about any type of clothing, click here.

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March Goal

My goals so far have all been practical and informative for my personal life and March’s goal is no different. For the next few months, my ZW goals will likely have to do with baby preparation. I’m due in two short months and am hoping to focus my (minimal) energy on making a plan to lessen waste during the postpartum months and beyond. I’ve had two kiddos of course, but low waste living wasn’t as high of a priority for me then as it is now, so I’m excited to dive in and change up my “baby phase norm” a bit.

For March, I’ll be focusing on finding (making/buying) zero waste baby essentials. This post won’t be as informative for my readers who aren’t in the baby-phase, but it’s something I need to dive into for myself and I hope my findings will be useful to some of you (both now and for future mamas!).

I’ve always said that you don’t need as much stuff to have a baby as everyone says and this time around I’m truly putting that to the test. Of course, we don’t have space for much excess, but after my two older girls turned 2 or 3, I sold or donated all of our baby stuff and am essentially starting from scratch this time around.

At the end of this month, I’ll share everything I plan to use to lessen waste once baby arrives, so stay tuned on my thoughts on cloth diapering, low waste pumping, and more. And, as always, leave me any tips or suggestions on the topic below!

#InspiringZeroWaste || February Goal

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(For the first explanatory post on #InspiringZeroWaste, click here!)

Month 2 of 2019 is upon us and I’m welcoming it with open arms. January always seems to last twice as long as other months and February brings with it a sweetness and anticipation for Spring (hopefully) that I’m excited to embrace.

If you followed along last month, you’ll know that my first #InspiringZeroWaste goal was to make my shower routine as zero waste as possible. First, I’ll share an update on how that went, and then I’ll dive into my goal for month #2.

January Update

I purposefully eased myself into the challenge with this goal because I knew I was running low on most of my shower essentials and have been wanting to make the switch to zero-waste options for a while.

What I tried:

  • I started using products from Natural Vegan Club in late December. I love their flexible subscription style service that allows you change your products each month and get things only as you need them. I’ve been using their shampoo bar for a month and, although my hair has had an up and down response, I’m happy with it so far. Shampoo bars are an adjustment - I’ve found I have to take my time and make sure I’m getting every bit of my roots saturated or my hair looks greasy the same day I wash it. But I’m not giving up yet and will keep researching on the best ways to use them. (To order free samples from Natural Vegan Club, click here!)

  • I ordered a Rose Gold safety razor and blade disposer from Leaf Shave a few weeks ago. Although it still hasn’t arrived, I’m making do with the razor I have now until it gets here.

What I learned:

  • A shower routine is fairly easy to do low-waste/zero-waste. If you’re not ready to commit to shampoo bars, Plaine Products is an AMAZING brand that is just as zero waste as package free options. And if that idea is too much, just be sure you’re recycling/composting your packaging according to the labels to reduce as much waste as possible.

  • Bar soaps are SO cheap and last SO much longer.

  • Using body oil instead of packaged lotion is even better for your skin and oftentimes a more eco-friendly option since they usually come in glass bottles that can be reused in your home instead of plastic, and they’re made with plant-derived ingredients.

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February Goal:

For the second challenge of the year, I’ve decided to dive into researching textile recycling, both locally and on a bigger scale to see what’s truly sustainable and what isn’t. Although I’ve paired down my wardrobe drastically in the past few years, occasionally I discover a piece I haven’t worn enough to justify keeping or something starts to deteriorate that I’m not sure what to do with. I’m hoping that by educating myself on the best options for recycling old clothing (and what to do with the pieces that aren’t recyclable) I’ll be better equipped to make sustainable future purchases and hopefully help you do the same!

I’ll share everything I’ve learned in a big blog post at the end of the month, so feel free to send any questions or resources my way as I begin my research.

I wrote last month about how to responsibly “kon mari” your life and, when it comes to clothes in particular, most of us are prone to dumping trash bags of old college tees and torn up pants off at our local Goodwill or secondhand shop without a second thought. And although supporting thrift shops is incredibly important, the reality is that many of these clothes never find a second home and many of them just end up in a land fill anyway.

So, stay tuned for more on this topic and, if you’re up for it, join me in stock piling a little collection of unused clothes to donate responsibly and recycle at the end of this month. I’ll be going through my husband’s, my kid’s, and my own closets to make sure we’re eliminating our clothes in the most ethical and sustainable way possible.

A foreshadowing…

If you’re curious about what you can do NOW, while I’m doing my research, I’d suggest checking out Marine Layer’s new recycling program ReSpun. I had a call with a member of their team early last week to discuss a future collaboration and learn more about their recycling process and, luckily, I’m super impressed with what I learned from them.

In an effort to lessen their own textile waste and provide a solution for brands and consumers alike, ReSpun works with Recovertex, a recycling facility in Spain that has been recycling textiles since World War II. Marine Layer collects unwanted tees, of any shape, size, condition, and material (except spandex) and ships them off by the thousands to Recovertex where they’re broken down, sorted, and respun into new tees. Any non-recyclable parts like labels and tags are added to fabric that is recycled into things like bedding and home insulation. (Click here to request your own recycling kit from Marine Layer to start the process with me!)

This is a “closed loop” process which, ideally the fashion industry as a whole will move towards one day. And as an added positive, Marine Layer offsets their carbon footprint from shipping the tees overseas by donating to organizations that offset their emissions. It’s called a carbon neutral process and it’s fascinating.

Stay Tuned…

I’ll be sharing more at the end of the month, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, feel free to join me in gathering up your old clothes that are un-sellable that you think would be a good fit for recycling (and one more time, you can get a free recycling kit here).

What’s your #InspiringZeroWaste goal for this month? I’d love to hear how it’s going thus far!